Jaymo

thee Achoka

2_2017-05-20_02_55_05

James is one of my guys, we one too many times kick out of town on lazy days to explore which hotel prepares the best chapos. Hunnies, Ringers’s HELB and liquor tops his favorites list. Guy has a great dressing style. He’s one of those guys you don’t want to walk around with because you’ll never arrive at your destination in time – not when every hunny you meet in the streets wants to spend 30 minutes hugging him and later extend her freaking right hand to greet you. Jaymo is that guy all campus boys wanna be. When the rest of us are fasting and casting our humble prayers unto God for such a prolonged dry spell, Jaymo on the other hand utilizes that time adjusting his `timetable’ to ensure the Third World War doesn’t take place in his magnificent bedsitter.

The other day he found me pondering over…

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Sandra’s Diary of love.

audreymurgor

There’s nothing in life that makes me happier than loving you. You’re my sunshine in the morning and my starlight in the night.

You hold me in your arms and make my whole world seem bright. Your smile makes me warm.

Your look makes me feel the best man. Your presenceInspires me. Happy Anniversary my love. A text message sent to Sandra early last year.

Sandra is sitted outside watching the stars. She’s crying as she’s shaking and shivering as the sounds of her gnashing teeth could be heard.


Sandy was broken to pieces. It was their anniversary. Every 1st of may every year, they decided to celebrate their anniversary.

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45° to Go… 

teddyleting

Hello my beautiful friend. I have waited for this day since I got my name. I never knew I was searching on platforms that I would never find you. Men say that love at first sight is a sigh, I truly agree with them because I was relieved when I set my eyes on you the first day.

All along, I met souls that never cared, I almost lost hope in finding my other pair of heart. Then you came, came in the dim light of the early morning. The sun rays had not woken up, but I remember you looked beautiful. Beautiful than anything I had seen before.

My dear friend, every single moment I spend next to you is a dime. I always want to tell you this but I get carried away by your charming smile. You turn everything around for me when I feel low, making…

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Rants of a Silent Mind

blackindaroze

I don’t rant much. Not that I don’t want to-trust me I want to whine about everything I find wrong. I find many things wrong: the way some people look at other people, the things they say about those people, the fact that the spiral of silence exists, the state of the economy-as cliche as this may sound, the list is endless.

The reason I don’t complain out loud is not that I’m afraid someone will think I’m a bummer. Neither is it that I’m afraid someone might think I’m a perfectionist. No. I barely see the point of it. Say, the state of the economy for instance. I want to tell off a shop manager for selling a kilo of flour for the price of two, I want to cry out to a grocery woman that there’s no way I’m buying a tomato for the price of three, or…

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Of Manhood, Lovers and Whisky

Kevin Ojiambo
Being a Man is laborious. I know that’s an ambiguous statement since “being a man” is a term used loosely in this society littered with millennial but hold on to your knickers I will help you untwist them. I understand there are many instances that involves a man that is laborious but for now I’m talking about the dating scene.

A “scene” huh? A very decorative connotation that squeezes all this issue on the view of a rose petal glasses. The whole dating affair has become a showroom of charlatans and wannabes. Men are doing outrageous things just to convince a girl that they are the best person they should be having sex with. It’s all a mess out here. Guys are living beyond their means, ignoring all the laws of frugality just to impress a girl. My jaw dropped to the floor the other day when I saw a guy tear in a bar.

Okay let me start from the beginning.

It’s 250 degrees hot this one Saturday afternoon and since Mother Nature decided maybe the sun isn’t burning us enough or maybe since the sun is the eye of Mother Nature I decided to move a little closer to see how this industrialist world is destroying her one smoke emission at a time. Nevertheless it was hot as hell. Regarding the beauty of the afternoon let us just say I have seen better. So I decided I needed a chilled soft drink in a shrine of men. I get into this bar I have never been to before. My silent prayers were answered since I didn’t see any familiar faces during my quick scan. I sat on a corner and ordered a cold tusker (The real tusker drunk by proper men, not Cider).

Soon afterwards a couple came in and sat a seat from me. The guy was in his mid-20s and the girl looked 18 or 28 you can never really tell with the girls and their layers of makeup nowadays. I ignored them and slid back to my delirium. My mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. People. When you see a guy swinging a beer bottle on his fingers thinking hard he’s most likely staring at the blank space, no constructive thinking really happens where there are beers to be tackled.

Back to our couple. I didn’t pay them no mind until I heard the guy order a bottle of William Lawson’s (fine whiskey for us on a tight budget), two glasses and three guaranas. The good man filled the glass with whiskey. The lady went halfway whiskey halfway guarana.

They were seated on the counter facing each other, I was seated on a corner so I had a clear view of their faces. The conversation seemed mild. From the guys struggle to break the contact boundary by lightly and occasionally touching her hip ill say it was their second or third date. The guy took his first sip. He didn’t flinch, if you have ever partaken a dry whiskey you will know that that’s something. He took the second sip, still no expression. Third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, damn! I knew that was a real man. I could wait for eternity on how the guy drank his whisky like bottled water. I wanted to know how he did it.

A few minutes later the lady excused herself, I thought for the restroom to “powder her nose” (I never understood that term) but she headed outside. Perhaps escaping this alien of a man who drunk whiskey like cold strong tea. The moment the lady’s bosom was out of sight I heard the guy scream “waiter, nipe glass ya ice tafadhali”

I burst out laughing so hard I almost fell from my stool. He put two of the ice cubes directly in his mouth perhaps to cool down the fire and emptied the rest in his glass.

A minute later with my aching ribs I decided to approach the whiskey guy and ask why?

With a coastal accent he said “ huyu dada nimemu mindy mimi na alisema hapendi wanaume wenye hunywa whiskey wakinun’gunika”

A coat, tie, and bugs

thee Achoka

PHOTOCOURTESY

There are days you wake up feeling so energetic and hyper and just want to lift heavy machinery and run around. And there are mornings when you get up feeling so lazy, hungry and exhausted to even blink your left eye, those are the days you wish all your lectures bounced so you could just remain indoors and only exit your room to get yourself a cold shower. Yet still, there are those rare mornings when you wake up at 4 a.m. to put on your new navy-blue designer suit and sit there for four hours waiting for daybreak so you can walk around aimlessly greeting everybody just so they realize you acquired a new suit. If by any chance none of your mornings happens to be one of these three possibilities then I think you are not a campus student, you are a university scholar.

What I’m…

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I miss you, Compaq

I love it.

thee Achoka

Hi cuty? I think “I miss you so much” is an understatement. You see, sometimes words hardly bring out the feelings that we have for the people we cherish. Anyway babe, my life has never been the same since you left. You are the most beautiful thing I ever met. I love your round erotic glowing eyes, I love your soft oval lips, I love your supper sweet girlish voice, babe, I love your natural scent, I love the way you calculatedly make your footsteps. Your smile turns me on sweetie. You made me understand why people say ‘the darker the berry the sweeter the juice.’ Haha babe I’m not flirting. You are the type of girl who loves and loves for real, a girl who doesn’t go around rubbing her buttocks on men’s crotches, a girl who understands so well how men should be treated. It’s funny how…

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